Cricket is a religion in India, isn’t it? And whether we all look back into our childhood memories of the long lost “gully” cricket, it certainly rings a bell in our hearts. Well, as familiar as the cricketing scenario might be so is sledging. It has existed in the eighties and it exists even now. And what makes it any different now? It has gone closer home and become personal and adorned a vicious streak.
Well, for the uninitiated if you look up for sledging on the internet and use the popular search engines you will quickly realize the devious practice is more about verbally intimidating the batsman on the ground to distract his/her
attention. And that brings us to the fundamental question which all the readers might be pondering over. What on earth do we civilized corporate folks have to do with “Sledging”! Well, ahem much as being adorned as a gentleman’s game and being plagued by a practice as this the corporate world isn’t much different.
Well sledging can be so subtle in a workplace that it could be aimed at psychological weakening of the mind and at one basic purpose that it is intended both “on field” and “off” it – to distract the recipient. And that brings us to one question what can be categorized as sledging at workplace. It could be anything ranging from a colleague trying to get
unnecessary close to you or to a coworker who doesn’t respect your personal space and even starts talking negatively about you or to you.
I once had a friend who got so frustrated at workplace as another female coworker was getting into her personal space and making unnecessary comments on her private life. This can be especially tense when this situation cannot be narrated and the ordeal continues. We all have had experience of this kind of situation either first hand or from a friend or coworker. If unchecked, such toxic workplace can lead to depression and increased attrition. This is essentially workplace bullying but has subtle undertones and the perpetrator can be anyone with a twisted mindset. How to deal with a subtle yet devious practice that can throw you off guard and make you lose focus and concentration. Like any other toxic workplace practice sledging is hard to prove but it has a profound impact on the individual who ends up being a victim to it. In my interactions with friends and co-workers who dealt with such a situation, I could summarize a few ideas which one can use to alleviate the effect of such an environment.
1. Know your triggers and avoid them: Needless to say, when there are awful and hurtful words or actions triggered at you it takes a monk’s patience to not do the same. But it is very important that we know what can offend us and what should not. Most of the people are unable to understand what makes them upset. Keep your ego aside and avoid the
temptation to react at baseless talk. It is important for us to maintain a cool and balanced head when sitting across who wants to get into our heads to just mess with it.
2. Respond and not react: This has been an old adage. But, how practical it is? Well it takes practice to train your mind for it. Response to banter should be calmness and not more in return. Anger is a common response. We get angry and we retort. This is retaliation. But the person who provoked the anger wants just that. Anger will only worsen the
situation and do more harm than good.
3. Focus on the bigger picture: While we may see things happening around us, have we noticed that we have tiny to no role to play in it. So, do yourself a favor and walk away. It is said in cricket that even Sachin Tendulkar could not escape sledging and guess what he did everytime? He ignored it and focused on the game. And who do we know more, the players who practiced sledging or Mr. Tendulkar himself? The answer to this question will certainly help you resolve the self doubts, if any.
Workplace or outside, there will be instances when people try to hurt you, offend you, hurl abuses. There will be times when it will be subtle and often times it will be loud enough for the bystanders to listen. What to do when you’re caught in such as situation? The choice lies with you and me. As you know if there is a fuel and there is a source of ignition, the result will always be fire. So how to douse the fire or how to extinguish it is in our hands. Remove the fuel “yourself” from the equation and see if the fire thrives. Source of ignition can be external.
Controlling and training one’s mind not to react to any external stimulus that can trigger a negative emotion is an ART. It is more unto us to respond to such stimulus than to make it such huge in proportions that it can consume you.
I would be waiting to hear and share your experiences on similar situations